So here I am, doing something I vowed to do 11 months ago, before I knew what "mommy" really meant. I'm creating a blog..for a variety for reasons. One is just to have a place to vent. One is to alert family & friends to some major, dramatic family events about to take place in the coming months. So bare with me, I may have started keeping a diary when I was 6, but this webblog stuff-all new to me. I apologize in advance.
I'll start though, by sharing a thought that I haven't been able to shake all weekend. My daughter is 10 1/2 months old. Somehow, I've managed to feed, water, and care for another human being for nearly a year. Shocker! But the real life-stopping realization that I can't fathom is..that right now, I am absolutely the most important person in someone else's life. I've never been able to say that & mean it. At this moment in time (and especially in the last few weeks), I have become my daughter's everything. There are other key players in her life who she adores, but her love for me right now is almost desperate. When I hold her, she clings to me like she's lost at sea and I'm the bobbling bouy that is keeping her afloat. When I pass her off or set her down, her sobs are desperate. When she's playing on the floor, she makes sure to crawl over to where she can touch my leg, my foot, my toe-anything-to reassure her that I'm still here & we're still connected. I had a situation this weekend where she was tired, and frustrated, and generally miserable. Of course, I held her to calm her down. Through her hysterical shrieking, furious leg pumping, and alligator tears, her little fingers clumsily clammored around my head until they found my ears and the poor gal hung on for dear life. She held onto my ears so tightly, she left red marks. I know at that moment in her little life, I was her only source of salvation.
So, while her constant clinging can get annoying at times, I also savor every second of it. I won't always be this way. I won't always be the most important person in her life. And I've never been the most important person in anyone else's life-I don't think so, anyway. And if you don't know how I feel, my sympathies. Because its the most amazing feeling I think a human can muster. Who's the most important person in YOUR life?
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