From the time I learned I was expecting a girl, one fear loomed in my mind... age 12 through 16. Well maybe there are some other ages I dreaded but that age group sends shivers down my spine. They were easily the most difficult of my life so far...almost 20 years later, I can still easily say that.
I was insecure in my developing body.
I was insecure in my looks.
I was boy-crazy and not afraid to sob hyterically every time I got dumped-which was often.
I was outspoken, stubborn & constantly locked horns with my well-meaning parents.
My mom was thrilled beyond words that I was having a girl. She smirked as she reminded me that 'paybacks are a bitch".
What she didn't tell me was that the rough years with me didn't start at 12. They started at 2 when I decided I could do everything myself, and didn't need her or anyone else for assistance. 2 is when I started talking back. Asserting my independence like she'd never known a toddler to do.
My daughter didn't fall far from the mother tree.
She can do everything herself. She doens't need me, or anyone else. She asserts her independence like I've never seen a toddler do. I'm frazzled beyond belief at the arguements over food, clothing, treats, and bedtimes. She lives in 'time out'. So i switched my approach.
I tried to talk to her the other day. One on one. Mother and Daughter.
"Scarlett, I want to talk to you about your actions lately".
"ok Mommy".
"Sit down and look at me. I don't like when you talk mean to mommy and daddy, and it makes us feel..."
"Uh mommy?"
"What sweetie?"
"Are we done talking yet?".
"Why? No we're not. Do you have something more important to do?"
"Yes, I want to play. in my room, by myself".
And with that, my 2 1/2 year rolled her eyes, ran into her room, slammed the door behind her, and yelled " stay away".
I could almost picture her, on the other side of her door, grabbing her Ipod, shoving in earbuds, and drowning out her parents in her favorite downloaded tunes (probably the Thomas theme song)
I wanted to be mad at her but I had to laugh.
Forget dealing with adolescence.
No one bothered to tell me that 2 is the new 12.
God help me.
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